Life Lessons as We Go

A few things I've learned over the last few days...

In solid determination to ensure that something 'positive' (if that's possible) comes out of my mentor's unexpected death and also due in part to my own introspection and focus on self-awareness over the last several months (it's admittedly sometimes a losing battle), I am contemplating a few concepts. In the past I believe I have;

1) Spent far too much time 'networking' and meeting new 'friends' and I want to focus more on maintaining, cultivating and appreciating real and meaningful people/friendships of equal/mutual benefit. Not every encounter is a lasting one but that doesn't mean they aren't full of potential to make lasting and meaningful impact. Sometimes, we just cross paths to pass along messages and carry on with our lives. I expend a great amount of energy reacting to what's in front of me rather than establishing and maintaining my base and letting the world move on around me.

2) Had a tendency to be and also attract commitment-phobes and I would like to refocus my efforts on relationships where it's understood by both parties that we aren't always at our best but it's in those moments, those opportunities, when we can receive AND give the most compassion and forgiveness. All within reason, of course, as I'm not one for dysfunctional/destructive/unhealthy/toxic people or relationships.

3) Spent far too much energy on other people, projects and commitments. This has left me in an interesting predicament. Although I know what my 'purpose' (generally speaking) in this life is, I do not know what I *want* that to manifest for me. I know what I want to do (inspire/lead/empower others to realize their dreams) but I don't know WHO I want to be, WHERE I want to be or WHAT I want to have. I think the first order of business here is to acknowledge that I am not a martyr (nor do I need to be) and that if I'm to lead others to their dreams, then I should first have some of my own. :) Duh. I know.

And this is only scratching the surface of the last 10 days. March 2012 has been an INTENSE month...